history and hersteel-cut oatmeal

Obligatory food post

2010-01-07T08:24:00Z

Not really, babycakes.

New afternoon watchy!

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Poof!

2010-01-07T00:23:58Z

Discussion: On YM, January 6, 2010
Neobie: blaaargh
Jason (Brian): ?
Neobie: i dunno i'm bored and i feel weird
Jason: awww
Jason: hug!
Neobie: i want some cereal
Jason: what kind?
Neobie: Honey Stars :|
Jason: hmmm
Neobie: ?
Jason: hadoo
Neobie: haddo ate
Jason: bear in a spacesuit
Neobie: monkey in a barrelsuit
Jason: the hney stars mascot yes?
Neobie: ahh
Neobie: yep
Neobie: at least he doesn't explode wheatfields
Neobie: he just sweetens up balls of gas :|
Jason: maniacal koala
Neobie: somehow that's suddenly worse
Neobie: weird man
Neobie: yep
Jason: but who will win in a fight
Jason: captain crunch or the quaker oats dude?
Neobie: i'm not sure. it's prolly going to be a stalemate and have breakfast together
Neobie: *and they'll all
Neobie: captain crunch is the master of the milky seas
Neobie: and the quaker oats dude looks like he's made of wood :\
Jason: yes
Neobie: hm
Neobie: maybe captain crunch will turn his opponent into a ship
Jason: is he a pirate?
Neobie: he's a captain
Neobie: but he does look like a pirate with his get-up
Neobie: wait, the quaker oats guy does too
Jason: (obligatory food talk)
Neobie: (we're usually hungry in the afternoon :\)
Jason: indeed
Neobie: hooms
Jason: how about keebler elves vs. oompa loompas?
Neobie: but Oompa Loompas aren't cereal workers
Neobie: Keebler elves aren't either
Neobie: i was thinking of Snap, Crackle and Pop
Jason: but they're both in the sugar industry
Neobie: haha
Neobie: hm indeed
Neobie: i'd root for the Oompas
Jason: are they against fighting?
Neobie: if the Keebler elves smell like choclit i bet they'd attack them
Jason: are oompas related to the quaker oats guy?
Neobie: i don't think so
Neobie: perhaps advertising genetics just made them look alike
Jason: hmmm
Jason: ask your sister
Neobie: haha
Jason: about all our cereal inquiries
Neobie: the 7-year-old cereal guru
Neobie: she's not exactly an Oompa Loompa fan
Jason: do you think they can build a religion?
Neobie: the Oompas?
Jason: oui
Neobie: aren't they a tribe?
Neobie: perhaps they already have one
Jason: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=287902057&blogId=518645839
Jason: they impose moral obligations like priests
Neobie: holycrap
Neobie: maybe Christians were the basis fer the Oompas
Jason: perhaps they can make the chocolate eucharists!
Neobie: achooly i think chocolate is their Jesus
Neobie: indeed
Neobie: you should ask them
Jason: interesting how this turned out
Neobie: durn Honey Stars

*

Last night, Morpheus' message consisted of an absurd astronomy lesson. An extension of this Discussion, perhaps, made a mess by stubborn neurons. The cereal surrealism was embedded into my skullnest, causing such a nightmare difficult to shake off, or even sleep off. In dreams, emotions are overwhelming.

Run out the swing screen door. Night sky gaze. The year anew? Murmurs of glee in the background. From preteen blood relations, no doubt. A meteor shower, they announced, pointing upwards to the vast and mighty planet blanket. They were ready with their eyes, a weapon I should've employed. Instead, I dashed upstairs and took the shield of Ringo Picasso. Ah, blunderful.

On that 2.7 inch PureColor LCD II display was a miracle. A firework of frootloops! Spinning! Crashing! Blinking like firefly-lights! And dancing! dancing! honeystars, they're dancing!

And behind those colors-come-to-life was a face. Not Orion's or Cassiopeia's or either of the Canis'. But it was blinding, and if blindness was an option I might've taken it.

Up there, heaven sent and hell-bent. The Sto. Niño's calm features. In varying dark-lights of baby pink. Its crown steady. Its cheeks puffy and aglow. Its chin, doubled. Whatasurpriseholymotherofgod.

Naturally, I shot a video of the spectacle. Even showed it off. Although, with most religious phenomena, such proof remained faulty. But what was I proving anyway? That the Lord had breakfast for dinner? Indeed it's in need of sustenance, human that it is.

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10-20, Wotcher (watchitgotofire) 10-20.

2010-01-06T04:09:54Z

We don’t know what’s coming, but we'll jump. Higher and higher but we're not getting any taller. At least, not vertically. Tilt your head to the left and you'll get it.

So jump!
Ten!
A snowball rolling down a hill? Quantity, quantity. Growth. Girth. Birth. Mirth. Ice crystals expanding, demanding satiation from the wind. The physics of the fall.

Twenty!
I hear my hair clamp scratch my nape, through the headphones. I think of ~~your~~ fingers, nails, curls on cartoon wood. Hands on a saw and amputations. Skin decay. We're older and don't we know it.

Thirty!
Let's lose count. The ambiguity of this year is why people are optimistic about it. There are spaces to be filled with infinities, no matter which verse you want, Schrodinger. Uni, multi, free.

A year of contact. Who will be on the other end?

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De bunk de generation

2010-01-04T07:07:32Z

Discussion: On YM, January 4, 2010
Jason (Brian): what you do?
Neobie: corprit juju :|
Jason: awww
Neobie: yoo? still FB?
Jason: yes
Neobie: waw
Jason: its fun to see people's lives fall apart through their stats
Neobie: haha
Neobie: schadenfreude
Jason: yey
Neobie: what have they been saying?
Jason: none
Jason: so far...
Neobie: errr then how are their lives falling apart?
Jason: last year it was
Jason: everyone is drunk with new year optimism
Jason: it will wear off eventually
Neobie: i'm thinking it's just the vacationy spirit
Jason: yes
Neobie: once they face reality again, 2010's going to suck and they'll all hope for 2011
Jason: indeed
Jason: hahaha
Neobie: ah people
Neobie: haha
Jason: so its a cycle
Neobie: we should've taken up psych
Neobie: haha
Neobie: yesitis
Jason: and there never truly is a "new life"
Neobie: if you don't count my name, yes? haha
Jason: indeed
Neobie: even reincarnation has recycled lives in it
Neobie: and birth
Neobie: hm
Jason: hehe
Neobie: :\
Jason: is this our first debunked social delusion for this year?
Neobie: i think so. haha.
Neobie: wait, what's our first blasphemy?
Jason: the other day
Jason: something aout the pope
Jason: about
Neobie: it concerned the pope and hats?
Neobie: (odd how we don't exactly celebrate the dawning of 2010 but keep marking our first evils for the year hahaha)
Jason: we are different
Neobie: hm i think there are others on some distant part of the planet doing the same
Neobie: given how we've debunked the new life new year thing, i think this is also recycled haha
Jason: then good tidings to them
Jason: our debunking?
Neobie: yep. perhaps someone somewhere has already debunked the same idea
Neobie: as i has learned, we cannot write anything new anymore
Neobie: the Earth is old haha
Jason: how so?
Neobie: everything has been written about before
Neobie: the only thing we can do is question them topics or oppose them
Neobie: but they'd still be about that same topic
Neobie: weird
Jason: ahh
Jason: so we are renaissance-ing?
Neobie: (side note: i saw an icon that said "Question Everything" and below it had "But why?" hahaha)
Neobie: are we?
Jason: someone else possibly thought about these things
Jason: but now we are finding out for ourselves
Neobie: indeed
Jason: we should've psych'd
Neobie: ah knoo. tsk tsk.

*

Neobie: meep
Jason: hug!
Neobie: eep
Jason: what you do?
Neobie: LJ haha
Jason: yey
Neobie: so much acronym-ing
Jason: yes
Jason: its LOL
Neobie: the generation of instant gratification
Neobie: errr :\
Jason: how so?
Neobie: people in a hurry to convey a message?
Jason: ahh
Neobie: instead of taking time and effort to type the whole word?
Jason: srsly?
Neobie: -_-'
Jason: :D
Neobie: if we returned to Ye Olde English, text messaging wouldn't last
Neobie: is this really progress? o_O
Jason: its degeneration
Jason: of the human population
Neobie: hoomins!
Neobie: this is a very sad indeedery
Jason: hehe
Neobie: wha?
Jason: everything's falling apart
Neobie: happy noo yir indeed :\
Jason: end of the world?
Neobie: that's supposedly 2 years from now
Jason: indeed
Jason: according to the now dead mayans

.

Coffee and sorcery

2009-12-22T07:17:31Z

Discussion: On YM, December 22, 2009
Neobie: ate ate
Neobie: i has a bag of beans :\
Jason (Brian): ?
Jason: did you exchange a cow?
Neobie: haha if i had a cow i wouldn't have given it away
Jason: why then?
Neobie: Starbucks beans :\
Jason: there is such???
Neobie: if i plant them, they'll grow into a million-dollar enterprise
Jason: what sorcery is this?
Neobie: >:D
Neobie: CAPITALISM!
Jason: of course...
Neobie: haha
Jason: how did you get them?
Neobie: exchange gip yesterdee
Jason: ahh
Neobie: i managed to taste sake ate
Neobie: it felt weird
Neobie: and my nose tingled
Jason: yey
Jason: ohayo!
Neobie: :|
Jason: hehe
Neobie: haddo ate how do you be?
Jason: don't worry
Neobie: errr one cannot help but worry
Jason: starting next year i won't make those references anymore
Neobie: resolution?
Neobie: but that means you're going to abuse the references now
Neobie: :\
Jason: somewhat :D
Neobie: tsk tsk.

And now the bag has morphed into produce.

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The flowers bloom for the king

2009-12-22T01:01:20Z

Do I have an internal alarm for death?
No wonder the hooms have sunk in.

R.I.P.
Lolo Bon

The queens will sway you upwards and your laugh remains.

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91 cm

2009-12-21T23:58:42Z

Skhizein (Jérémy Clapin,2008) from Bertie on Vimeo.

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This store-bought way of saying I'm okay

2009-12-21T23:40:29Z

Aughfuck. It's got to be the pillow-snatch weather and too much indie pop.

It's 7:29 am. I am bumming.

bum¹

~~1. A tramp; a vagrant.~~

2. A lazy or shiftless person, ~~especially one who seeks to live solely by the support of others.~~

3. An ~~incompetent,~~ insignificant, ~~or obnoxious~~ person: ~~The batter called the pitcher a bum.~~

4. One who is devoted to a particular activity or milieu: a beach bum. (a No on the beach and the sand monsters)

v. bummed, bum·ming, bums

v.intr.

1. To live by begging and scavenging from place to place. Often used with around.

2. To loaf. (I want bread.)

v.tr.

~~1. To acquire by begging; cadge.~~

2. Slang To depress, dishearten, or dismay. Often used with out.

adj.

1. Inferior; worthless: ~~gave me bum advice; did a bum job of fixing the car.~~

~~2. Disabled;~~ malfunctioning: ~~a bum shoulder.~~

~~3. Unfavorable or~~ unfair: ~~got a bum deal on my final grade for the course.~~

4. Unpleasant; lousy: had a bum time at the party. (well, definitely; except for the sake because that was new; and escape, but that wasn't on their schedule)

Hooms.

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Suddenly between sheets and eyelids

2009-12-21T23:09:30Z

I must away and goodbye, away and goodbye!

Four books look across your sofa;
I thought your coffee table
was more clever than that

(but you talk so loud that it calms me down)

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Tis the season

2009-12-16T06:54:17Z

...to kill emos.

Discussion: On YM, December 16, 2009
- after wondering what gifts to give this Newtonmas

Neobie: waaa ano bang mga gusto niyo?
Neobie: si Rina di ko na alam e, parang di ko na kilala
Neobie: si Hannah naman, um pagkain?
Neobie: :))
Trisha: suklay
Trisha: hahaha
Trisha: si rina bote ng bata..
Trisha: hahahahah
Neobie: nakita ko yung ibang pichoors ni Hannah sa FB e
Neobie: mukhang nagsusuklay na
Neobie: may makeup din
Neobie: um
Neobie: haha
Neobie: si Rina naman, diaper na lang
Trisha: hahaha..
Trisha: bkaa nga mas kailangan nya ng diaper
Neobie: paano kaya kung yun talaga binigay ko dun?
Neobie: hahaha
Trisha: pwede pwede!!
Neobie: o sige, seryoso. yun na :))
Trisha: wahahaha..baka saksakin ka nun ng scalpel nya
Neobie: e di meri krismas! :))
Trisha: wahahah
Trisha: you
Trisha: are
Trisha: soooo
Trisha: E
Trisha: M
Trisha: O
Trisha: //_T
Neobie: DI AH!
Neobie: nakatawa nga e :))
Neobie: hahahaha
Neobie : homicidal ako no
Neobie: AY MAS OKEY TO:
Neobie: EMOCIDAL
Neobie: mamamatay-emo
Neobie: :))
Trisha: wahahahahahahha
Trisha: ayos!!!!
Neobie: yehey! may bago tayong term!
Trisha: hahaha
Trisha: pwede
Trisha: ebon[y]- the emocidal freak
Neobie: emo ba siya? hahaha
Neobie: so kaya siya suicidal dahil homicidal siya towards emo people?
Neobie: whaaaa?
Trisha: uhm..ganito nalang..
Trisha: gusto nyang pumatay ng emo..e emo xa..so in the process parang suicidal narin
Trisha: hahaha
Trisha: (naisip ko mas emoxa kasi hindi xa namamatay kahit patayin nya sarili nya)
Neobie: ayun nga hahaha
Neobie: kaya nga siya emo kasi failure siya sa pagpapatay ng sarili niya
Neobie: haha
Trisha: e do tama ngang emosuicidal
Trisha: hahaha
Trisha: *di
Neobie: kahit na, pangit pa rin :))
Trisha: hahaah

*

Meanwhile, at ohm we didn't have the Christmas feast (yet), but vegetable/s instead.

Discussion: On the dinner table, December 15, 2009
Me: Anong plural ng asparagus?
Mama: Asparaguses?
Papa: Diba plural na yun?
Me: Aspara-geese?
Neia: Asparagu?
Me: Ha? E di naging singular?
Neia: Ano yung singular?

Falalalala-lalala-la! ♪

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The animals went away, and now we have manimals.

2009-12-15T02:28:54Z

No cats or rabbits,
No dogs or whales,
No fish in the seas,
No birds in the skies.

Such is the reality, the fut ure! If we control it.

Discussion: On Facebook, December 15, 2009

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Speaking

2009-12-14T06:44:02Z

Hot Hot Heat reminded me this morning that "Talk is even cheaper told in bulk."
What does this imply about small talk?

If speech is indeed valued by its size (inversely proportional, in this case), then small talk would be expensive, wouldn't it?
But what monetary units will we use to measure how much we spend trying to communicate?
Seconds, minutes, hours of small talk? What do we pay? What do we obtain in return?

Do we even give anything/get anything once small talk commences? If it's as expensive as it's supposed to be, then there must be something that is gained.

What about small talk in bulk? What happens then?

Is "small" even in the same quantitative field as "bulk"?

Bzuh. I've run out of speech credits.

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The living bird is not its labeled bones.

2009-12-13T23:53:25Z

On the doomed city of Sakiel-Norn,

"I wonder which is preferable, to walk around all your life swollen up with your own secrets until you burst from the pressure of them, or to have them sucked out of you, every paragraph, every sentence, every word of them, so at the end you're depleted of all that was once as precious to you as hoarded gold, as close to you as your skin - everything that was of the deepest importance to you, everything that made you cringe and wish to conceal, everything that belonged to you alone - and must spend the rest of your days like an empty sack flapping in the wind, an empty sack branded with a bright fluorescent label so that everyone will know what sort of secrets used to be inside you?"

- The Blind Assassin, Margaret Atwood

And yes

2009-12-10T08:07:45Z

Okay?

Hm.
Okay.

.

"At the very least, we want a witness."

2009-12-03T23:31:09Z

This scroll is on its last years, Lauris.

"The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. Not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise you begin excusing yourself. You must see the writing as emerging like a long scroll of ink from the index finger of your right hand; you must see your left hand erasing it.
Impossible, of course.
I pay out my line, I pay out my line, this black thread I’m spinning across the page."

- The Blind Assassin, Margaret Atwood

Fffff My Loaf

2009-11-26T01:14:24Z

Discussion: On YM, November 26, 2009
Akire: oh hashoo tried googlegooglegooglegoogle.com?
Akire: :))
Neobie: there's such a thinggy?
Akire: yis.
Akire: try it some tahm :))
Akire: and see the wonderful results :))
Neobie: okidees!
Neobie: what is zis? :-O
Akire: four google search engines in one page
Akire: =))
Neobie: if i open this site on four different tabs, that'd be multitasking galore :))
Akire: =))
Akire: @-)
Akire: $-)
Neobie: unfocus all blurry tenkyu Googlers multiplied by16
Neobie: :))

*

Akire: what does fml mean?
Neobie: um Fuck My Life :))
Akire: ooOOOOH
Akire: i wos tinking football something league
Akire : :))
Neobie: =))
Neobie: well that could work
Neobie: my initial reaction was, "aak, another FHM?"
Akire: FOOTBALL MAJOR LEAGUE
Neobie: :))
Akire: :))
Neobie: needless to say that was facepalm moment :))
Akire: :))

.

Non-cents!

2009-11-20T00:22:15Z

Suddenly the cash creeps into every thin thread. Every read gets a recurring theme, a bad dream of corporate schemes. I'm not paid to write stories but they pay the price. Each idea has been laced with the stench of money. That familiar smell of sweat sweetened by value. Old and stale, but coveted. Like a stinky century egg.

It's not why I write though. Not for the royalties (hell, there haven't even been any anyway). Not for the first few steps of Maslow's pyramid.

"The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow." - Kurt Vonnegut

It's emptying a pitcher of water (hardly emptying the sea yet). And the liquid that hits the glass' bottom turns to dusty confetti. The audiences don't rejoice, they cough and hack and double over all slow sick sad sucky. But I want them to, doubly sick and doubly awed. Relief after a particular pain. Or even while in pain. A Palahniuk effect.

But it's not really for them either. I've always reasoned out that the scratch of pentips to paper is euphoric to me. That there are rabid kitties clawing their way out of this skullcage. That there's a sadistic little beast in my brain wanting the world at its feet, poisoned with humanity, as Vonnegut says.

Now it's just bothersome. The things I come up with suffer from my experiences - since what else would I be writing about? And what I'm experiencing is slavery to cents.

In my head, everything can be bought: nightmares and people and emotions and identities. It's not that I lack any of them, though they are often suppressed stored away shunned. It's just the insistence of the stupid idea that everything's been tagged with a few numbers and signs and dots and ta-da! Off to the cash register with you.

I need to change this view. Now where do I buy that? Or barter? There's only a few coins left in my wallet, and I'd rather just give them away. Clink clink clink to the beggar's hungry hand equals clink clink clink said the key to the lock.

.

Ar, end Cal.

2009-11-13T00:23:31Z

Something has always been off every time a Friday the 13th comes around each year.

I'm happier.

Weird.

Discussion: On Facebook, November 13, 2009 (Friday) and the succeeding days

*

If I friend something tangible again, I shall name it Ringo Picasso.
Also, the word "shrapnel" is fun.

.

It's the search for the time before it leaves without you

2009-11-11T00:11:10Z

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, it's warming up your bare legs
You can't deny you're looking for the sunset ♫

Punctuate

2009-11-10T00:51:10Z

This is a period to mark the questions and point out exclamations. We dash towards the night's ellipses, as we risk wilting asters with our every slash and stroke. We'll wade through the sand of the river Amper, the liquid evaporating, its famous departure from our colons.

.

Flow past the temple to the chin

2009-11-09T00:39:20Z

My mother always said my sister Satsu was like wood; as rooted to the earth as a sakura tree. But she told me I was like water. Water can carve its way even through stone. And when trapped, water makes a new path.

Page-driven!

2009-11-05T23:44:56Z

Discussion: On YM, November 6, 2009
Avegail: oh! i finished Dexter last night
Neobie: congratulatory? hahaha
Avegail: tenks haha. you should read it. it's nice.
Avegail: at least the first two books
Avegail: the third book, not so much.
Neobie: hm after i finish SO MANY OTHERS
Neobie: grabe andami ko pang unread books
Neobie: ang lonely nila
Neobie: tears
Neobie: haha
Avegail: collector kasi
Avegail: :))
Avegail: kaya mo sila binibilhan ng kasama?
Avegail: kasi lonely sila?
Avegail: :))
Neobie: kasi kapag nakakita ako ng book na maganda tapos mura tapos walang pumapansin, yung nerve endings ko nagti-twitch
Neobie: :))
Neobie: oo
Neobie: ganun siguro
Neobie: haha
Avegail: :))
Avegail: that's nice
Neobie: ang scary nga e
Avegail: i don't get that feeling
Avegail: :))
Neobie: hahaha
Neobie: pumunta ka kasing Book Sale!
Neobie: ay wag pala, akin na lang yung mga libro dun >:)
Avegail:ayoko nga dun, kasi mahirap maghanap
Avegail: :))
Avegail: possessive!
Avegail: :))
Neobie:but that's part of the fuuuuun
Neobie: parang pirate
Neobie: tapos may treashoor
Neobie: :))
Neobie: di rin hahaha
Avegail:hahaha
Avegail: ayoko kasi wala akong map
Avegail: :))
Neobie: e di kailangan ng map
Neobie: kasi avenchoor
Neobie: hahaha
Avegail: hahahaha. actually, kahit may map, malolost pa din ako
Avegail: because i don't know how to use one
Neobie: kaya nga mas masaya kahit walang map e!
Neobie: dibadiba
Avegail: =))
Avegail: sa iyo enjoyable yun
Avegail: hahaha
Neobie: sa Book Sale lang. kapag sa daan, baka mawala lang ako
Neobie: hahaha
Avegail: hahaha
Avegail: palit tayo, ako sa daan, ikaw sa Book Sale
Avegail: :))
Neobie: e marunong kang mag-driiive
Neobie: mahirap mag-drive sa Book Sale
Neobie: :))
Avegail: :))
Avegail: i would suppose
Avegail: ang daming casualty dun kung magdrive ka sa Book Sale
Avegail: :))
Neobie: yung mga libroooooo
Neobie: NOOOOOOOO
Neobie: save theeeeem
Avegail: =))

No one wants to know

2009-11-05T01:49:48Z

Let's fill up another dimension of space.

SECRECY - Margaret Atwood

Secrecy flows through you,
a different kind of blood.
It's as if you've eaten it
like a bad candy,
taken it into your mouth,
let it melt sweetly on your tongue,
then allowed it to slide down to your throat
like the reverse of uttering,
a word dissolved
into its glottals and sibilants,
a slow intake of breath -

and now it's in you, secrecy.
Ancient and vicious, luscious
as dark velvet.
It blooms in you
a poppy made of ink.

You can think of nothing else.
Once you have it, you want more.
what power it gives you!
Power of knowing without being known,
power of the stone door,
power of the iron veil,
power of the crushed fingers,
power of the drowned bones
crying out from the bottom of the well.

Reading: "The Blind Assassin" - Margaret Atwood

The Hfd Project

2009-11-04T07:14:05Z

Seeking difference.

Carpe hormone, because asexuality gets tiresome too. Or I'm just very bored.

Ebonie and Brain discuss:

1. The birth of the Hormonal for a day Project:
Jason (Brian): can i be so subtle that i don't know what i'm doing?
Neobie: hm
Neobie: wouldn't you be aware of being subtle about what you're doing?
Neobie: by intentionally being subtle, doesn't that mean you do know what you're doing?
Jason: but sometimes i'm not aware anymore
Neobie: how subtle? and what are you doing?
Jason: i don't know haha
Neobie: maybe it's not subtlety?
Neobie: haha
Jason: perhaps
Neobie: what could it be?
Jason: what it?
Neobie: doing something while not knowing what it is?
Jason: approaching a girl
Jason: hahaha
Neobie: whaaa?
Neobie: i was going to wonder if it was possible to not know what you're doing while doing it
Neobie: like involuntary reflex
Neobie: but approaching a girl??
Jason: not literally
Neobie: i don't get it
Jason: hormonalize!
Neobie: if i do that, then what?
Jason: dunno haha
Neobie: besides, i still don't see what i can gain from that haha
Jason: its called love
Neobie: i can love without hormones
Neobie: that's why i asexually love people haha
Jason: or an awkward situation
Neobie: why would i want an awkward situation??
Jason: to which i say "awkward!"
Jason: there
Neobie: what shall i gain from thaaat?
Jason: nothing
Neobie: your mockery of a hypothetical hormonal situation involving me is silleh
Neobie: that is not a benefit of being hormonal
Neobie: see?
Jason: must there always be a benefit?
Jason: my mockery would be in line with schadenfreude
Neobie: in Carmel's words, "Pragmatic and utilitarian!"
Neobie: but it would only benefit you
Neobie: and not me
Jason: so i might gain something
Jason: :D
Neobie: but you're already hormonaaaal!
Jason: you get experience
Jason: and experince is the best teacher
Neobie: hm. like XP haha
Neobie: in a game
Neobie: errr
Neobie: this is a lesson?
Jason: perhaps
Neobie: hmm.
Neobie: like trial and error
Neobie: ?
Jason: somewhat
Neobie: if i be hormonal for one day, whappens?
Jason: dunno
Jason: let the gods decide
Jason: *thunder*
Neobie: don't want
Neobie: i refuse to let them
Neobie: how does one be hormonal?
Neobie: gah i'm actually bored enough to consider it hahaha
Jason: dunno
Jason: you're the one who says i'm hormonal
Neobie: and you admit it
Jason: yep
Neobie: i don't see how you became hormonal. you just are.
Neobie: so i dunno how one becomes hormonal
Jason: but hormonal is opposite of asexual, yes?
Neobie: i suppose
Jason: then doing the opposite works?
Neobie: but i can't exactly force myself to exterminate the asexual trait
Neobie: can i?
Neobie: haha
Jason: will to power?
Neobie: er does that cover this situation too?
Jason: perhaps
Neobie: hm
Neobie: so how shall this be?
Jason: will power on your part
Neobie: okay so i will be hormonal for one day at least
Neobie: there is the will
Neobie: then what?
Jason: realization of the will?
Neobie: hoooow?
Neobie: i must observe how hormonal people react
Jason: react to what?
Neobie: to the subjects of their hormonal manifestations?
Jason: ahh
Jason: right
Neobie: and what exactly are these manifestations?
Neobie: from what i has seen, one is being giddy at the sight and mere mention of subject
Jason: what subject?
Neobie: the person?
Neobie: aaand i has no subject
Jason: isn't that girly?
Neobie: it's like fangirling
Neobie: o_O
Neobie: how is that different from being hormonal?
Jason: so you're equating girly with hormonal?
Neobie: nope. i think they have overlapping aspects.
Jason: indeed

2. Mentorship:
Jason: now what?
Neobie: we hasn't fully planned out the Hfd Project
Jason: o also have to be hormonal?
Jason: i
Neobie: you must teach me?
Neobie: because you're already hormonal?
Jason: haha
Neobie: i dunno how to go about this
Neobie: you said it's a lesson
Neobie: haha
Jason: right
Neobie: left
Jason: alright then
Jason: carpe hormone!
Neobie: hahaha

3. Steps?
Neobie: whappens now?
Jason: dunno
Neobie: oh we're lost
Neobie: are there steps to being hormonal?
Jason: to the rest of us it comes naturally
Neobie: well that sucks fer me then
Neobie: haha
Jason: errr
Jason: hmmm
Neobie: there are no guidelines
Neobie: someone should make an algorithm
Jason: vanity
Neobie: haha
Neobie: vanity?
Jason: self-consciousness on what you look like
Neobie: what i look like? errr
Neobie: how does that figure in the hormonal scheme?
Jason: beauty
Neobie: but isn't that supposed to be on the subject?
Jason: what you mean?
Neobie: the hormonal one finds beauty in an other, right?
Jason: oui
Neobie: so why do i have to consider my own?
Jason: right that's not your problem
Jason: my bad haha
Neobie: ateeee
Neobie: haha
Jason: what?
Neobie: yer confusing
Neobie: haha
Jason: why?
Neobie: step one isn't vanity then?
Jason: for you no
Neobie: but it is for you?
Jason: you don't think i'm pretty? o_o
Neobie: wha??
Jason: haha
Neobie: where'd the hell did that come from? haha
Neobie: *where
Jason: what do you mean step one is for me?
Neobie: well yer my mentor so i'm asking if your step one is vanity
Jason: you mean i consider my own vanity?
Neobie: yep, and why
Jason: why are we shifting to me?
Neobie: you are today's model (yihee) of what is hormonal?
Jason: i'm confused
Neobie: mrrr
Jason: i'm working along the lines of spotting
Neobie: right now?
Jason: i mean why i said venity
Jason: vanity
Neobie: ahhh
Neobie: so to be spotted by the spottee, one must consider one's vanity?
Jason: one's looks
Jason: ergo beauty
Neobie: i'm still confuzzled

4. Retreat AKA Withdrawal AKA Procrastination
Jason: so why are [y]ou confused?
Neobie: my head hurts from all the hormonal-speak :|
Jason: awww
Jason: hug!
Neobie: i am still unconvinced haha
Neobie: eep
Jason: of what?
Neobie: if the whole Hfd Project shall push through?
Jason: ahh
Jason: your call
Neobie: it could, but i can't seem to do it entirely
Jason: entirely how?
Neobie: well we hasn't figured out most of what it takes to be hormonal
Neobie: so i dunno what to do next
Neobie: haha
Jason: ahh
Neobie: anyway never mind. the Hfd Project shall be put on hold
Jason: haha

To be continued

Little fury future bugs

2009-11-04T00:13:09Z

As a kid, when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I had many answers and couldn't decide.
At one point, I decided to have just one general answer - to be successful.
"A successful what?" they'd ask.
And I never gave a proper retort, just a shrug before they'd pat me on the shoulder to tell me I'd figure it out.

But I haven't yet.
Because I'm still trying everything, thinking of what to try, and hoping it won't be too late.
By that I mean I want enough time to do what I want when I determine what that is.

Correct?
Correct me, convert me, continue.

Do it all.

Everything.

Fail, even. It's always an option.

Goothings too. Then figure out wherewhenwhatwhowhy.

How?

I don't know yet. Never a proper retort, I say.

.